What do the marriage relationships portrayed in classical literature reveal about the societal views and values of marriage in antiquity, and what can they teach modern audiences about this special social relationship? Two examples of marriages portrayed in classical literature are the marriage between Odysseus and Penelope in Homer’s “The Odyssey” and the turbulent relationship between Dido and Aeneas, portrayed in Virgil’s “The Aeneid”. These marriages starkly contrast each other. Odysseus and Penelope’s marriage ends in a long-awaited reunion, untarnished by the years of separation; Aeneas and Dido’s relationship deteriorates due to differing obligations and eventual separation. Although marriage is a universal social relationship, the values and ideals surrounding marriage may differ throughout time and culture. More and more, it seems “modern public opinion” “has increasing doubts about its value and is skeptical as to its possibilities of working out well,” as Burke argues in his article “St. Augustine: A View on Marriage and Sexuality in Today’s World” (377). Yet, marriages continue to take place, even amid the distrust growing within society. Classical literature reveals that the success of a marriage lies in shared values such as perseverance and fulfillment of social obligations, as highlighted by Odysseus and Penelope, whereas the contrasting relationship of Dido and Aeneas underscores the disastrous consequences of a marriage with conflicting desires and responsibilities.
The purpose of marriage for Romans and Greeks focused on their need for social and economic security. James Robson states in his article “Sexual Unions: Marriage and Domestic Life” that “the provision of legitimate — and preferably male — offspring was a major concern to citizen men and women alike…” (4). Deborah Lysons shares similar views to Robson in her article “Dangerous Gifts: Ideologies of Marriage and Exchange in Ancient Greece.” She argues that “Once integrated into the new household, the wife is expected to bear legitimate children, produce textiles (or oversee their production), and to guard over the husband’s possessions” (Lysons 102). Not only did marriage expect a wife to be faithful to her husband, to ensure a man’s children were the rightful heirs to his wealth, but also to be the caretaker of her husband’s wealth. The same rules did not apply to husbands, however. They were allowed to engage in liaisons outside of their marriage, as this did not factor into securing their lineage and inheritance. Economically, a woman was used as an exchange of resources. Although a dowry was not legally required, it was customary for a bride to bring a substantial amount of money into her marriage (Robson 10). Marriage was primarily an economic transaction between men and women, according to Lyson (102). Women were seen as possessions or gifts, and the economic benefits a woman could offer incentivised men to enter into marriage in Greco-Roman antiquity. The economic and social benefits of marriage in Greco-Roman antiquity reveal a culture that valued a man’s fortune and legacy.
The priorities of Greco-Roman antiquity regarding marriage differ greatly from those of modern Western society, revealing the concerns about economic and social security. Modern views on marriage reflect the shifting values of society. These views now focus on love as the foundation. The need for marriage in order to secure one’s political, economic, and social standing has shifted. Renata Grossi writes in her work “Love and Marriage” that “…a significant argument now exists that marriage in contemporary society is, and should be understood primarily as an institution that gives expression to love” (17). The need to secure paternity for children is also not as great a concern as it was for the ancient Greeks and Romans, as DNA testing and family courts can now determine parentage. In addition, the economic benefits of marriage are not a necessity, as they were for women in ancient Greek and Roman societies, who depended on men to provide. Burke explains in his article that “Modern public opinion accords [marriage] little standing and less trust, has increasing doubts about its value and is skeptical as to its possibilities of working out well” (377). Despite these skepticisms, marriages continue to take place in modern society. A distrusting society, which doubts the value of marriage, enters into it on the basis of love, hoping to defy the statistical odds of divorce.
Homer gives insight into the concerns regarding marriage in Greco-Roman antiquity through his work “The Odyssey.” Odysseus and Penelope underscore the concerns of social and economic security within a marriage. Penelope is praised in “The Odyssey” as “The daughter of Ikarios… all too virtuous and her mind is stored with good thoughts” (Homer 160). Penelope’s steadfast loyalty to Odysseus is demonstrated by her unwavering hope in his return. Athena relays to Odysseus how Penelope stays “...Forever / grieving for you, missing your return…” (Homer 174). Odysseus, on the other hand, is not sexually faithful to Penelope. He spends a year with Circe before resuming his voyage home, “feasting on unlimited meat and sweet wine” (Homer 152). Upon their reunion, however, their household is restored. The closing lines of “The Odyssey” underscore the enduring bond between a married man and woman: “So they came / into that bed so steadfast, loved of old, / opening glad arms to one another” (186). Through his work, Homer paints a model for the Greeks and Romans to emulate: a partnership built on patience, loyalty, and mutual understanding.
In Virgil’s “The Aeneid,” the marriage relationship between Dido and Aeneas starkly contrasts that of Penelope and Odysseus. Dido, who vowed chastity after her late husband’s murder, breaks her vows after the gods conspire to have her fall in love with Aeneas. Virgil depicts how she is filled with “longing that her heart’s blood fed” and how “His words remained with her to haunt her mind” (652-653). Through the machinations of Juno, Dido considers the relationship between her and Aeneas as consummated. Virgil describes how “Thus, under that name, / She hid her fault” (658). This suggests that by convincing herself that their sexual relationship was solemnized, Dido escaped self-judgment of her lusts for Aeneas. Through Dido’s character portrayal, Virgil cautions his audience against a relationship that is founded on uncontrollable passion.
As a result, Dido’s desires for Aeneas ultimately end in her downfall. Aeneas has conflicting obligations to fulfill. His destiny is to found Rome. Anchises tells his son Aeneas, the future of his lineage while in Elysium, “What glories follow Dardan generations / In after years, and from Italian blood / What famous children in your line will come…” (Virgil 695). Aeneas’s obligation to his future people causes the dissolution of his marriage to Dido. When Dido hears that Aeneas is leaving, she is distraught. Her devastation is apparent when she pleads with Aeneas: “Can our love / Not hold you, can the pledge we gave not hold you, / Can Dido not, now sure to die in pain?” (663). Bound by his duty and the future glory of his lineage, Aeneas leaves Carthage and Dido behind. T. R. Bryce argues in his article, “The Dido-Aeneas Relationship: A Re-Examination,” “He never accepts that any lasting obligations to Dido have been imposed upon him, and he recognizes that the time must come, however long it is postponed, when the relationship must end” (262). Aeneas’ departure leads Dido to sink further into despair. Virgil describes the poignant scene of her suicide:“Amid those words her household people saw her / Crumpled over the steel blade, and the blade / Aflush with red blood, drenched her hands” (675). Singer argues that Dido’s “...alienation from power is itself a kind of death, which her suicide imposes as if in self-punishment” (769). Dido condemns herself for letting herself fall in love with Aeneas, for letting her passions skew her judgment; she punishes herself with death at her own hand.
Aeneas’s reaction to Dido’s suicide is delayed, due to his departure from Carthage. However, Virgil does allow his audience to see Aeneas confronted with the consequences of his abandonment when he travels through the Fields of Mourning, a place where broken-hearted lovers spend their eternity. He sees the visceral image of “her fatal wound still fresh” when confronted by Dido’s shade (Virgil 684). She reacts coldly to Aeneas, “with gaze fixed on the ground as he spoke on,” not answering him, “as if she were / Immobile granite or Marpesian stone” (685). It is a poetic irony that Aeneas is treated coldly in death by Dido, in a way that mirrors how Aeneas had hardened his heart to Dido’s pleas to Aeneas not to leave her when she was alive. Virgil, through the tragedy of Aeneas and Dido, warns about the consequences of entering a marriage on the basis of lust and passion.
Taken together, the marriages of Odysseus and Penelope and Dido and Aeneas give clues as to the values the Greco-Romans held important in marriage. By comparing Odysseus and Penelope to Dido and Aeneas, a clearer picture of these views comes to light. Audiences see that in Odysseus and Penelope’s case, their marriage is restored by the end of Homer’s tale. Odysseus’s desire to return home aligns with Penelope’s desire for him to return home to her. Though far away from her for several years, Odysseus understands the value of his partnership with Penelope, acknowledging that he will not find “sweetness to surpass his own home and his parents” and comparing his home to something more valuable than “a house of gold” (Homer 128). In Penelope’s case, her sexual fidelity to Odysseus secures the social order. She spends “her days and nights… in lonely weeping” waiting for her husband’s return (173). Her actions during Odysseus's long absence prevent usurpers from taking Odysseus’s throne, his son’s rightful inheritance, and his wealth and resources. Penelope actively guards herself from the false intentions of men who try to court her in order to steal Odysseus’s wealth, station, and power. Homer describes Penelope’s perspective in her own voice (a rare occurrence in “The Odyssey,” where she is mostly spoken about as a passive character): “I armed myself / long ago against the frauds of men, / Imposters who might come– and all those many / whose underhanded ways bring evil one” (184). Because of Penelope’s steadfastness, Odysseus is able to return and take his rightful place as Penelope’s husband and the ruler of Ithaka. She guarded his treasures and his place in the social order, as a true marriage partner. The bond between Penelope and Odysseus, despite the years and distance, is deep and unbreakable. There is a deep understanding between them, “secret signs” only they know (181). Homer, speaking to a Greek and Roman audience, would want wives to emulate the traits of Penelope, and husbands to remember where their true home lies, like Odysseus.
The relationship between Dido and Aeneas contrasts that of Odysseus and Penelope, because it warns of a marriage that is built on the foundation of passion and romantic love. Virgil paints the consequences of such a foundation by showing the tragic impacts of their destroyed relationship. Peter Walcot, in his article “Continuity and Tradition: The Persistence of Greek Values,” considers how “Indeed erotic love and sexual interest were not considered an entirely appropriate bond between the spouses”; instead, “Love was said to develop through the common commitment to the family and its welfare…” (174). The former describes the relationship portrayed between Dido and Aeneas, while the latter encapsulates what the audience witnesses of the marriage between Odysseus and Penelope. The personal desires of Aeneas, wanting to fulfill his duty of founding Rome, and Dido, wanting to be prioritized by Aeneas, result in conflicting goals. Aeneas’s priority is laid out clearly: “But now it is the rich Italian land / Apollo tells me I must make for Italy, / Named by his oracles. There is my love; / There is my country” (664). His first love is not Dido; it is his country. Her passion and need for him are unreciprocated, which is why the relationship ultimately ends in tragedy.
Classical literature reveals that the success of a marriage lies in shared values such as perseverance and fulfillment of economic and social obligations, as highlighted by Odysseus and Penelope, whereas the contrasting relationship of Dido and Aeneas underscores the disastrous consequences of a marriage with conflicting desires and priorities. Penelope and Odysseus's aligned values and commitments point to a model for the Greco-Roman audience of what should found a lasting marriage. On the other hand, Dido and Aeneas’s portrayal warns of the consequences of a marriage that is entered into on the basis of passions, where goals and values do not align. For a modern audience, both the marriages presented by Homer and Virgil teach a lesson that can be applied today. A truly fulfilling marriage requires more than romantic feelings; it requires shared commitment, aligned goals and values, and a balance between desires and obligations.
Works Cited
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